What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
Why don't blind people like to sky dive?
Because it scares the hell out of the dog.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, damn. a bad skydiver goes damn, whack.
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way, unique up on it.
What goes clop, clop, clop, bang,bang,clop clop clop?
An amish drive-by shooting
How are a texas tornado and a tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
What did the one snowman say to the other snowman?
Smells like carrots.