|Cruising for Goblins
"Cruising for Goblins"
Instruments: Synths, Drums
Feel: Bouncy, Driving, Grooving
Dear Green Valkyrie, Your life force is running out. Green Valkyrie needs food badly. Remember; Don't shoot food. Someone shot the food. Your shots now hurt other players. You just shot the potion. C'mon Green Valkyrie, you got no chill.
Instruments: Marimba, Drums
Feel: Calming, Grooving, Mystical
Life is the source of mystical potential. Or it isn't. One of the two. If I had to bet... I would probably ask what those words mean. Even 'life' isn't simple. I don't think I could recognize what the first living thing was. It is like making a soup. Hot water? Not soup. Hot water with salt? Not soup. Add a potato? Still not soup. That's just a potato in hot salt water. At some point it becomes soup. Same with life. Bonus fact: Borscht was never soup. It is borscht.
|Shadowlands 5 - Antechamber
"Shadowlands 5 - Antechamber"
Feel: Eerie, Intense, Unnerving
Part five of seven. Airy, but not in the "I'm outdoors, and everything is great 'airy'" way. More like the "the alien machine that sustains our life is slowly breaking down and poison is beginning to seep from its core" way. Whatever is happening... it isn't fast, and it isn't good.
Instruments: Piano, Basses, Cellos, Flutes, Clarinets, Oboes, English Horn, Percussion
Feel: Dark, Driving, Intense
This is an awesome theme tune. For ANYthing. You got a dark comedy about an inept biologist? This will work. A gritty fantasy dealing with fairy politics? A sci-fi dystopian future where everyone likes sardines? A reality show about bicycle thieves? A slice-of-life serial about growing up in the Upper Peninsula? Seriously. Anything.
Instruments: Marimba, Drums
Feel: Bright, Grooving, Relaxed
This music is sort of ethnic-nonethnic. It is the sort of thing you can use for your travel video to Cairo, but would also work for your travel video to Columbus, Ohio. Columbus, Ohio - Where blank canvasses become full lives! Visit Columbus on your next getaway! Coffee shops, restaurants, and many seasonal festivals provide a rich backdrop to help make your life seem slightly less desperate. Columbus, Ohio: We have a river!
Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Drums, Synths
Feel: Grooving, Relaxed
Musical wallpaper! You might think that's a bad thing, but it quite useful for playing under interviews, or during countdowns, or in really hip cafes where you can get an Americano (coffee) or an Americano (Campari+vermouth cocktail). Life Pro Tip: ALWAYS refrigerate your vermouth! It is a wine product and will go bad if open at room temperature. So, to all of you who "hate vermouth", no - you hate ruined vermouth. Just like anyone who has only had room temperature red wine that's been opened for 3 weeks would hate wine.
Instruments: Synths, Drums
Feel: Grooving, Bright, Relaxed
It came from the 1980s, but was mutated by some trap monster which gave it a new lease on life! I'm not gonna lie, this is an odd hybrid - super useful for your YouTube channels! You can't not like this piece... unless you have no soul.
|Ascending the Vale
"Ascending the Vale"
Instruments: Harp, Choir, Flute Percussion, Anyafil Horn
Feel: Relaxed, Calming, Mystical
We've all been there... wandering through an impenetrable forest, half dead with 2 arrows sticking out of your leg. And yet we continue - because it is probably good for the narrative. Then hope! Oh thank the old gods and the new!! An unmapped settlement of woodland inhabitants takes you in and brings you back from the brink of certain death. You don't even care that it is a scurry of giant squirrels that came to the rescue, or that the healing soup they give you is largely acorn-based, and vomit-inducing. Pastoral and beautiful. The download comes with a loop for if you never want the feeling to end.
Instruments: Drums, Bass, Synth
Feel: Aggressive, Dark, Grooving
Upbeat, bright, and super catchy! Just try not to rap to this piece! TRY IT! You can't, can you! I mean... I can, but I've been training to not rap my entire life. It started with me not-rapping in my childhood in the upper midwest. My lack-of-rapping hit a new high while on a high school band trip to Disneyworld, and was again bolstered in a crazy non-rap filled Spring Break in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario. There's just something about not-rapping and industrial forestry...
Instruments: Percussion, Dulcimer
Feel: Dark, Grooving, Intense
Sometimes you do things with little expectation of how it is going to finally turn out. Maybe you're making a hummus and cauliflower pizza roll... Will it work? Who knows! You can sort of make the hummus taste like Italian hummus if you use enough oregano, basil, and... chili flakes or something. So, then you make it, and realize it should be called a "Flaccid Spiced Hummus Ball". Eating a flaccid spiced hummus ball helps to assess your life choices... that eventually led you to eating a flaccid spiced hummus ball. Uncompressed download comes in 4 speeds; 72, 80 (this one), 88, and 96 beats per minute. Flaccid spiced hummus ball.
Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Drums, Organ
Feel: Driving, Humorous, Suspenseful
This piece started its life as a random challenge on a show I do on Twitch.tv called "The Wheels of Doom!". The 4 randomized elements that came together here were: Drum Machine, Strings, Xylophone, and Comedic. I think it worked out pretty well! You can download this in uncompressed format here. Download comes with individual tracks so you can make your own mixes.