|March of the Spoons
"March of the Spoons"
Instruments: Bass Clarinet, Basses, Cellos, Violas, Violins, Flutes, Clarinets, Oboes, Drums
Feel: Bouncy, Grooving, Humorous
How can you tell if a piece of music is intended to be comedic? Pizzicato strings and a bass clarinet! This piece has it all! Pizzicato strings? Check! Bass clarinet? You bet! Throw in some staccato high winds and you got yourself a great comedic piece! Going out on a date and want to appear more entertaining? Bring a bass clarinet! Bass clarinet players I think also get discounts at T.G.I.Fridays; Double bonus!
Instruments: Virginal, Dulcimer, Bass, Drums, Xylophone
Feel: Bouncy, Driving, Humorous
Hey buddy, wanna buy a ferret? How about a trained ferret? Okay, I didn't really train her... she just has a predisposition to things. She stuffs squirrels into boxes, feeds them sugary treats and then empties the boxes though mailslots. Well, if you're not going to buy her, how about some nails... to keep your mailslot closed.
Instruments: Synth, Cello, Piano, Choir
Feel: Calming, Relaxed, Somber
Ok, I might be crying a little bit. But it is understandable... I went to a party store, and I saw all the colorful balloons with happy sayings on them like "Get Well" and "Feel Better" and "A Hug for You"... I just started thinking how the helium will all be gone one day. Just gone... we won't get it back, and it took millions of years of radioactive decay to get the helium we have now... and... *sniff* we just don't have millions more years to wait for more. They're wasting helium in balloons... how can I possibly "Feel Better"!?
|Ascending the Vale
"Ascending the Vale"
Instruments: Harp, Choir, Flute Percussion, Anyafil Horn
Feel: Relaxed, Calming, Mystical
We've all been there... wandering through an impenetrable forest, half dead with 2 arrows sticking out of your leg. And yet we continue - because it is probably good for the narrative. Then hope! Oh thank the old gods and the new!! An unmapped settlement of woodland inhabitants takes you in and brings you back from the brink of certain death. You don't even care that it is a scurry of giant squirrels that came to the rescue, or that the healing soup they give you is largely acorn-based, and vomit-inducing. Pastoral and beautiful. The download comes with a loop for if you never want the feeling to end.
|River of Io
"River of Io"
Instruments: Flute, Clarinet, Strings, Percussion
Feel: Driving, Mysterious, Suspenseful
I would like to state, for the record, that this is the worst river cruise I've ever taken. The zombie crocodiles were bad enough, but the chase for the stolen artifact statue that was taken by the Ice Monkey Lord was really quite too much. And now I'm missing my left shoe. So why are we up sneaking around UFO landing sites? NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!!! You got some clandestine stuff going on? This track will probably work for any sneakiness anywhere.
Instruments: Erhu, Pipa, Yangqin, Percussion
Feel: Bright, Relaxed
When I do music based on folk traditions, I tend to name them after cities. Like this one: Shenyang. It is a little village of 8 million people that I've somehow never heard of. Oh sure, I've heard the name, but I don't associate it with anything specific. Chicago: Hot Dogs. Amsterdam: Offensively tall Dutch. Moscow: "Stop a Douchebag". Shenyang: No clue. How did I miss this city?? You already know if you need this piece, it has a more satisfying low-end than actual real Chinese music, and it should fit in with your modern productions well.
|Fireflies and Stardust
"Fireflies and Stardust"
Instruments: Banjo, Violins, Mandolin, Guitars, Bass, Drums
Feel: Bright, Calming, Relaxed
Some beautiful rural americana-type music. I mean, just listen to that! It is an 8 piece ensemble, and everyone is playing a lot of notes, yet it remains so simple. Okay, the violins aren't playing that many notes... had to pick up the 2nd violin off the waiver wires, and there wasn't enough time to get her up to speed on the offense for this piece. So we made an executive decision, and kept things simple. We should still be able to get some good yardage here, and hope to win on defense.
|On My Way
"On My Way"
Instruments: Bass, Guitar, Flutes, Clarinets, Vibes, Drums
Feel: Bright, Calming, Grooving
If you're not adding to the narrative; get out of the way! This piece gets out of the way... You can put it under any monolog, dialog, timelapse... actually, with a timelapse, you could probably find something a little more interesting with some pacing, or something. So... this is for those sure nice videos. Guaranteed* to offend as few people as possible! *"Guaranteed" is used in this context for entertainment purposes only.
Instruments: Marimba, Ukulele, Cello, Drums, Percussion
Feel: Bright, Calming, Grooving
Light and refreshing as a summer's day! I really just should lift ad copy for laundry detergent and fabric softener for this one. Springtime Fresh Scent! Pure and Simple! Brightens! Gentle on Fabrics! Great Value! Easy-pour Bottle! Marimbas!
Instruments: Guitar, Bass, Drums, Flute
Feel: Driving, Grooving
Before you complain about the bass, that is the entire point of this mix. It is scary-bass... yet somehow subdued. If this bass was a car, it would be a cement mixer... That's a terrible analogy. Forgetting for the moment that a cement mixer isn't a car... I guess they have the ones that are mounted on big trucks - and those trucks share a lot in common with cars, you know steering wheels, engines, tires, and the soon-to-be-anachronistic internal combustion engine. Anyway, if you don't like the bass you can pretty easily EQ it to a reasonable level, or buy the stems and remix it yourownself. Before you complain about the use of the word "yourownself", I wrote it. You understood it. It is a word. There is also some dreamy flute in here.
Instruments: Banjo, Trumpet, Tuba, Drums, Piano
Feel: Bouncy, Humorous, Bright
A rousingly comedic romp on the dark side of Dixieland music, featuring a wonderfully questionable trumpet player!