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Charlotte Brontë (early 1845)
[Written shortly after Charlotte's return from Brussels, this poem explores her feelings for Monsieur Heger, her teacher in Brussels, a married man. This poem hints strongly at her apparent desire for M. Heger to be dominant over her.]
At First I Did Attention Give
At first I did attention give Observance - deep esteem His frown I failed not to forgive His smile - a boon to deem Attention rose to interest soon Respect to homage changed The smile became a valued boon The frown like grief estranged The interest ceased not with his voice The homage tracked him near Obedience was my heart's free choice Whatere his word severe His praise unfrequent - favour rare Unduly precious grew And too much power - a haunting fear Around his anger threw - His coming was my hope each day His parting was my pain! The chance that did his steps delay Was ice in every vein I gave entire affection now I gave devotion sure And strongly took root and fast did grow One mighty feeling more The truest love that ever heart Felt at its kindled core Through every vein with quickened start A tide of life did pour
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