It’s the newest trend, and you’re reading about it here first! Or maybe second, or twelfth. Or maybe my guess is completely wrong. But the simple fact is, somewhere, right now, someone is editing out the three swear words from this flick and preparing it to show on network television; because it already is a network TV movie. True, it has a bigger budget then usual for one of those, but in all practical terms, I just paid $10.50 in US dollars for the privilege of watching a TV movie on a really big screen. Okay, really only $7.00, but I needed those Milk Duds.
But just think of it. Take a budget that’s probably really small in Hollywood terms; get yourself a few B through D list stars; a script that’s got moderate violence, a car chase or two, and a couple of explosions; keep the swearing to a bare minimum, and you basically get two movies for the price of one. No muss, no fuss — this baby can go straight to any network you choose. And it’s only 88 minutes. Add 32 minutes of commercials and that voice-over guy warning us that it contains mature themes after every commercial break, and voila! Programming for a Friday night sometime next year.
Oh, and it does have a plot. Matt Dillon is Mike Cochrone, a guard at an armored car company called Eagle Shield. His protege and godson, Ty Hackett (Columbus Short, from Quarantine), is just finishing his probation period there and being made a full-fledged guard himself. But in spite of having this job (which is probably pretty high-paying, I would think, just for the potential danger factor), he has money problems. His parents recently died, and he inherited a house with two mortgages, a lot of medical bills, and a vaguely troubled younger brother who’s way too fond of spray paint. But old buddy Mike is there for him, always pointing out that Ty deserves better, and that they’ll “figure out a way” to save his house.

The cast of the new Friday night drama about the trials and tribulations of a misfit bunch of armored car guards.

This vague, unspecified “way” soon turns into a scheme that has clearly been in the works for a long time — a plan to fake a hijack, hide the $42 million dollars they’ll be carrying, and when the heat dies down, split the money six ways. But the six ways includes Ty, and he hasn’t yet agreed to go along with the scheme. He’s seen fighting in the Middle East, and already feels guilty enough about the people he’s killed there. He doesn’t need any more stuff on his conscience. But money worries are the worst, and he has Mike’s solemn promise that no one will get hurt, so you can understand the temptation.
However, anyone who’s ever seen a movie knows that a solemn promise that no one will get hurt ranks right up there with saying that nothing can possibly go wrong. Pretty soon the body count is rising and two armored cars will never be the same again. Mike and the other would-be thieves — Dobbs (Skeet Ulrich), Palmer (Amaury Nolasco, Max Payne, unfortunately), Quinn (Jean Reno, a character actor from Morocco whose name you might not know, but whose face is probably familiar), and Baines (Laurence Fishburne, no longer the heroic Morpheus, now reduced to telling slightly off-color jokes) — claimed to have a foolproof plan, but it unravels faster than you can say “Whoops.”
Complications include sheriff’s deputy Jake Eckehart (Milo Ventimiglia, in phase three of his ongoing plan not to be typecast as anything, playing a very good cop to make up for playing that complete pervert in Gamer) and the traditional Place Where Radio Communications Will Not Work, no matter how reliable they were before. And yes, people die. But nothing truly horrible happens, since it’s only PG-13. It’s an action movie for the whole family! Except it isn’t, because the kids would probably get bored, when they’re not freaking out. There are times when they go for a while between explosions or other dramatic bits of violence.
I’m going with two and three-quarter idols. It would’ve been three, but I had to dock a quarter idol for the ending, which was even more ridiculously pat than I was expecting. On the plus side, at least they didn’t try to wedge a romance into the film.

Starting some computer cleanup, and posting what I find starting with…
Ambiment – a 23ish minute long ambient sort of piece of music.
And my music search engine is on the fritz… so, just look an the top of the Rock page for
What You Want (version 2) [ no vocals ] and
Noise Attack
Finally, here’s Sunshine ver 2 – a slower version of one of my more popular pieces.

Have you ever wondered how movie trailers are made? I have. Mostly, though, I wonder why it is that so often, absolutely all the good stuff is in the trailer and if you then watch the movie expecting more good stuff, you just feel cheated.
The point is, I thought it might be nice to post a link to some information or videos or something like that about the actual process of making such trailers. Except the net has kinda dropped the ball on that, and there really isn’t much out there like that. Specific stuff like “The Making of the Trailer for Really Big Expensive Action Movie 12!” is easy; general stuff, not so much.
So I offer you the following as a consolation prize — the Five Awesome Movie Trailers that Made the Movie. See what you think of their choices.
You can also check out this tribute to the late, great Don LaFontaine, aka that Movie Voice-Over Guy. He was cool.

Yes, I was the only grownup in the theatre without a kid in tow. This is my first time reviewing a movie aimed at the younger set, so it was kind of an experience. And I wasn’t really sure what to expect — some people kept saying it looked silly, others that it looked good and they wanted to see it. As it turned out, it was actually pretty fun, once I got over the idea that all the other adults were looking at me funny because I was there by myself.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away — except I think this is actually in our galaxy. Anyway, there’s a planet out there that’s full of little green aliens who don’t wear shoes, eat food that glows, drive little round hovercars, and are obsessed with scary 1950’s-style sci-fi movies about being invaded by beings from outer space. Best-known are the Humaniacs, villains of an ultra-popular movie trilogy. In spite of the name, they don’t look very human; they’re roughly human-shaped, but have just one giant hypnotic eye where their heads should be. And they want to eat your braaains!
So says Skiff (voiced by Seann William Scott), comic-book store employee and alien expert. His best friend, Lem (Justin Long, wisecracking computer hacker from Live Free or Die Hard, newly promoted to junior assistant curator at the observatory, isn’t so sure. He’s busy mooning over the girl next door, in true 1950’s style, because everything in this movie is pretty 1950’s, basically. Everything’s also round, hovers, and/or looks like crop circles. But the girl next door is Neera (Jessica Biel), who’s learning all about something new called “protesting”, and though she likes Lem, too, it’s almost impossible for them to get a minute alone.
That problem only gets worse when Captain Charles T. Baker, astronaut (Voice of Dwayne Johnson, of Get Smart fame) lands in the middle of Lem and Neera’s perfect little suburban neighborhood, thinking he’s just claimed an uninhabited planet for the United States of America. As startled as the natives are to see him, he’s even more startled to discover that he has an audience, and things just go downhill from there. It turns out that Rover, the adorable little mobile camera and sample-taker that was sent out to investigate the planet, was programmed to find and photograph rocks, so that’s what it did — just the rocks. So the little green aliens turned out to be quite a shock.

Skiff is the one on the left, and he’s right to look nervous.

Paranoid as they are, Len’s friends and neighbors are all ready for this alien invasion, led by tough General Grawl (Gary Oldman) and mad scientist Professor Kipple (John Cleese). Except all Chuck wants is to get back home, and he has to get back to his spaceship before the automatic liftoff sequence begins, or he’ll be stuck there, with everyone trying to kill him. But of course the army’s ready, and they’ve got his spaceship surrounded. It’s just like a scene from The Day the Earth Stood Still, either version. In fact, this movie features all sorts of famous lines and images from just about every sci-fi movie you can think of, from Invasion of the Body Snatchers to Terminator to Alien. In fact, if you liked the Alien franchise, be sure to keep an eye on what they call a dog on Planet 51.
Anyway, the kids in the theatre seemed to like it, I enjoyed trying to find all the in-jokes and rooting for Rover (because really, how can you not root for something so cute?) and it was basically a fun ninety minutes. I’m giving it a respectable three and a third idols. Parents, you probably won’t be bored, and kids, you’ll love Rover. So Ashley, go ahead and have mom and dad take you to see it. And don’t leave as soon as the credits start! They’re fun, too.