I have a cognitive processing condition. I call it “dyscaptia”. Those CAPTCHAs, little photos of twisted texts that are on various sites that are designed to confuse computers, confuse me.

CAPTCHA and me.

And I don’t mean that they take me a moment to figure out. I can not read them at all. I was off of Facebook for months because the password recovery process requires one of these things.

If your site requires one of these to use your product, or send a message… you will never hear from me. I have dyscaptia.

Oh! You have “alternate methods”, you say!!! One can just listen to the garbled audio version, you say!! Turns out no. I can’t. Well, I can listen, but I do not comprehend.

If they would have said you can either write a paper on symbolism in One Hundred Years of Solitude – or you can type in this CAPTCHA… it is at least possible for me to write that paper.

My work-around for CAPTCHA involves me getting on video chat with someone who will tell me what the hell the thing says.

It is mildly amazing to me, actually. There can be 5 people on the video chat – all of whom give me the same answer. And even when I KNOW the answer, I still can’t figure out how they got there.

So, either that Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart is wrong, or I am not human.


Got a great note from Maartin…

The possible solution to your problem: Rumola
If you use google chrome, I suggest you do, you can install this web addon called Rumola, with that you can bypass the captcha’s, it solves them for you, of course it probaly won’t work ALL the time, but it’s probably better than calling 5 other people on skype or something like that.

Here’s a link: https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/rumola-bypass-captcha/bjjgbdlbgjeoankjijbmheneoekbghcg


How to: The Music Business

Flock of Giraffes
I get a lot of requests for people wanting to know how to “get into the music business”. Some people are honestly confused – which is understandable, because I’m actually IN the business, and I am still confused. This document is for all of the people who make music – and want to make music more.

This document is not a happy/flowery/you-can-do-it document. But, I understand negativity turns people off, so I’ve included the positive (and very very wrong) version of things as well.


Great Publicity

“Will you score this incredibly complicated action movie I’m filming for my 6th grade film class? It’ll be great publicity for you because my whole class will see it – and you’ll be in the credits!”

That’s what I deal with all the time. Great publicity and $10 will get me lunch*.

Publicity Guy

If you are a content producer, please do not try to sell “publicity” to anyone. I get the “publicity” sell continuously – and what it generally means is that the product is abysmal.

Professionals understand which projects will increase their profile and which ones will not. No need to mention explicitly.

Now that I’ve annoyed everyone who has ever sold “publicity”, I’m going to go back to my music-hole and work a bit. I’ll probably not get much publicity by doing that, though. hmm…

*Please donate $10 for Kevin’s lunch.

A Request

There is a problem of worlds.
A user of incompetech with a developmentally disabled/challenged young adult son asked to purchase a CD of “Fluidscape”.

I don’t offer CDs, and I don’t have the ability to make them. The user has a MacMini (no CD drive) and cannot make one herself.

So – I ask a favor of the community.
Can you make a CD with that track on it and mail it to her?

Please let me know, and I’ll get you her mailing address (it is in the United States [California]).


Update! Thanks. Jared has offered to send a CD.

Call for Help on SQL


Finally got this thing figured out. It involved changing Collations on all of the columns in the database.


I moved databases a while ago, and now my search queried in the “Keyword” search on my music section have become case-sensitive. This is bad.

Can you help?

Here is the query as it is now (searching on “test”):

SELECT [stuff]
FROM pieces p, genre g, collections c
WHERE p.genre = g.id
AND c.code = p.collection
AND MATCH( title, instruments, description, feel, isrc )
AGAINST ("+test" in boolean mode)

Got 20 minutes?

Jiraiya the Brave, a 1921 Japanese silent film, was just recently rescored with my music.
I think this is a great example of how to score old silent films to make them not seem like cartoons.

Jiraiya (literally “Young Thunder”), the title character of the Japanese folktale Jiraiya Gōketsu Monogatari (“The Tale of the Gallant Jiraiya”), is a ninja who uses shapeshifting magic to morph into a gigantic toad. The heir of a powerful clan in Kyūshū of the same name, Jiraiya fell in love with Tsunade, a beautiful young princess who masters slug magic. His arch-enemy was his one-time follower, Orochimaru, who mastered snake magic.

Bugle calls

I got an email this morning from military bugler Jari Villanueva. My version of “Taps” was wrong. Oops. That’s not good. I recorded a new correct version from the music he gave me.
Taps v2
And while I was doing bugle calls, I also recorded “First Call” as played by three trumpets.
It is pretty exciting, though not as clean as it if were performed by a soloist. I hope I got this one right! :-)
First Call
Yes, I know, the opening arpeggio should be triple tongued…

Jari Villanueva’s bugle calls can be found on the U.S. Army Band’s site. I think the recordings there are in the Public Domain… but I’m not certain.