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The Heartbreak Kid

So… yeah.
I actually saw this one on the weekend as usual… but I’ve kind of been too stunned to write about it. Usually, I like to do something else for a little while after I leave the theatre, just to sort of let my opinions settle, but this time, I had to wait a really long time so I could try to feel less unclean.
Because it was bad. I mean, bad. I went against my better judgment… I still haven’t forgiven Ben Stiller for Meet the Parents, quite probably the worst 108 minutes of my life. But, there wasn’t much choice, so I risked it, and now I’ll never be able to see another Ben Stiller movie again. No great loss, but I do kind of hate to swear off an actor.
There is a plot, at least — it’s based on a Neil Simon screenplay, very loosely, I’m sure, but there was still enough left for a plot. Eddie Cantrow (Ben Stiller) is continually being bugged by his father (Jerry Stiller, his actual father, so not much of an acting stretch there) to get married, but he doesn’t want to take the plunge. Finally, thinking that the girl he’s just met (Malin Ackerman) is about to be transferred to Europe by the company she works for, he impulsively proposes. They go on their honeymoon, and he meets the girl of his dreams (Michelle Monaghan).
You can see where things are going… you can probably guess the whole plot, actually. I did. Ben tells the most amazingly complicated lies with a perfectly straight face as he juggles two women, which was actually pretty impressive. Comedy is hard, so most comedians can really act — Ben just picks the most awful movies most of the time. And I don’t know what to do with those Farrelly brothers. Sometimes they pleasantly surprise me, like with Stuck on You, and sometimes they smack me upside the head with something like this. Sigh.

heart.jpg
Ben Stiller, looking as awkward and out of place as I did while watching this movie.

I’m not sure what else to say without getting that unclean feeling back. The raunchiness of it kind of sneaks up on you, and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, really. I know I felt sorry for poor Jerry Stiller, who had to say most of the worst lines in that respect. I think they were trying to make him sound really cool and more with it than his son, but, well, that didn’t work.
Really, all I can add is that not once did I have the urge to laugh, and since this was supposed to be a comedy… yeah. One idol for this debacle. I hate to go any lower, though I’m tempted. The mariachi band running joke alone is almost enough to knock it down to half an idol… because really, haven’t the poor mariachi bands suffered enough?

Soundtracks

For the first section: pieces written for a video game.
Vampires! Halls of the Undead
Werewolves! Shamanistic
Elves! Frozen Star
and… for those of you who are always bugging me about the giant battle music…
Orcs! Stoneworld Battle
Also, a quick study with some new synths in The Machine Thinks.
And a very nice finishing piece for a bittersweet film; Rumination

Emergency Halloween Music

Everyone loves the Bach Toccata and Fugue in D Minor!* It is a semi-seasonal piece, so I rushed it out of the door just in time for your spooky needs.
Toccata and Fugue in D Minor BWV 565
More music to come later today!
(*not true)

Where is the Movie Critic Next Door?

Well, not actually next door. The odds are incredibly against it, at least. But I haven’t disappeared, either. Since I dropped the ball last weekend (though it doesn’t look like I missed much), and this weekend also isn’t looking good, I just had to post something. I’m out of town this weekend, in a theatre theatre instead of a movie theatre, so while I could still post a review, it probably wouldn’t do anyone much good. So, most likely until next weekend, this is your Movie Critic, signing off.

Westerned Out

Oh man… I’ve had quite my fill of Westerns… not to mention a pile of scrap music that doesn’t quite work. I think these will be the last 2 in the genre for a bit.
Western Streets – an all percussion chaotic thing
Martian Cowboy – umm… yeah. “Dark, Eerie, Epic, Somber, Unnerving” about says it.

All over the board

Craig and Tony came over the other day, and I showed them what I was working on for Westerns. They said it sucked, and gave me some actual Westerns to look at. So I did. And my music was hideously wrong. So here’s my shot at making it right.
Smoking Gun
But my Westerns were interrupted by an emergency request for a new-age Celtic (Scottish) piece. It is quite different-sounding than the last Celtic piece I did… due to the new-agedness of it.
Skye Cuillin
And a simple rock piece just for fun.
Beach Bum
Some days I wonder how such dissimilar music can come out of me in a single day.