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You threw a golf ball at me. But I saw that coming, so I had a tennis racquet handy. Then you threw a running chainsaw at me. But I saw it coming, so I had a plexiglass safety cage handy. I see that rabid ferret behind your back… I’ll be in the car.
“Vice Beat!” by Brett VanDonsel
This is a great example of low-rent 80’s movie production music… written in 2018. Crazy stuff!
Holy smoldering tenor sax, Batman!! You want to set a mood? This is your track! It just keeps building and building! The sheet music for this recording is a post-it that says “noodle in F Minor.” Such is the power of a real musician! You can just give them notes like that… and get music like this!
It hurts my brain to switch from english words to symbols. Try to read these words and symbols out loud quickly: hyphen-slash-backslash/dash/-\hyphen//hashtag_octothorpe#- Crazy, right? That had nothing to do with this piece of music. I’m just sharing.
This is my favorite piece that perfectly captures a slightly grown-up sound, but still sounds like a 1990s-era action-drama.
Old Way: Synthesized Electric Piano
New Way: Actual EP Recordings that are built into virtual instruments that are then put through a lot of processors to make them SOUND like Synthesized Electric Pianos.
Old Way: Synthesized Ocarina
New Way: Assemble recordings of an ocarina player, and then make a virtual instrument that captures beautiful expression and legato lines… turn off all that fancy stuff and play it like a crappy synth.
Griggs! I’ve been poisoned! You gotta get me the antidote! Then you gotta get… like a crane, or something to lift this truck off me! She dropped a truck on me, Griggs!!! Then, if you could find me a decent deal on high speed internet – that would be great! The plans are all too confusing, and I do NOT WANT CABLE TV OR TELEPHONES! Can you believe anyone still has telephones, Griggs? Griggs??!!?
