Face it. Victorian England is perfect as the setting for a monster movie — any monster movie. It’s lit at night only by candles and lanterns, it’s often foggy, the sun doesn’t show up for days at a time, and nearly everyone is superstitious enough to believe in things like ghosts and, yes, werewolves. You fully expect to find a mad scientist around every corner, a curse on every crumbling manor house, and a terrifying creature lurking behind you every time you turn around. Late 19th-century England is the birthplace of every horror movie cliche, basically.
All those cliches are here, but somehow, it works.
Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) is English gentry, even though he doesn’t sound like it. I accidentally saw another reviewer complaining about how miscast he was, and how jarring it was to have one lone American accent in the cast, but none of that bothered me. They do explain the accent; you just have to be a little patient. Anyway, he’s become a famous actor, called away from his portrayal of Hamlet by an anxious letter from Gwen Conliffe (Emily Blunt — she had a tiny part in Dan in Real Life, but I know her best from an excellent episode of Foyle’s War), his brother’s fiance. Brother Ben is missing, and Gwen pleads for Lawrence to return home to Talbot Hall and help however he can.
Lawrence is estranged from his father, Sir John Talbot (played in excellently creepy fashion by Sir Anthony Hopkins, from Fracture, among a hundred or so other good films), and no wonder. If there was ever a colder or more distant father, I don’t want to know about it. When describing the loss of his wife, Spanish beauty Solana, he tells Lawrence, “Her death destroyed me, you know,” which sounds like a very moving expression of love — except judging by his tone, he might as well be discussing whether they should have beef stew or mutton for dinner. No matter how terrible or cruel the things he says, he never once raises his voice or shows any emotion beyond faint amusement or, occasionally, a sort of resigned, distant fondness, as if he’s tolerating a promising horse or hunting dog that’s being difficult.
Brother Ben is dead, of course, and he’s not the only one. There’s no shortage of mauled corpses here. A group of locals blames a caravan of Gypsies currently stopped there, and go after their dancing bear. With perhaps a touch of fellow-feeling, the true beast obligingly clears the bear’s good name by attacking locals and Gypsies alike when they’re not looking. That’s pretty much how everyone gets killed — abruptly, messily, and when they least expect it. But Lawrence — appropriately charmed by the pretty, forlorn Gwen, determined to discover Ben’s killer whether man or beast; and also wracked with guilt over his brother’s death, is determined to meddle — and is right there to witness all the blood and death, and get attacked himself. He survives, of course, because otherwise it would be a very short movie. And hey, what’s a curse for, if not to share with others?

Strangely, this time it isn’t Anthony Hopkins in maximum security. He’s just visiting.

This is where I don’t see why anyone could say Benicio is badly cast. He’s very, very good at looking lost and weighted down by a cruel Fate, and what more could you ask for in a wolfman? Lycanthropy, like vampirism, doesn’t really get considered a curse, these days. Vampires sparkle annoyingly (unless they’re in Daybreakers), and it sounds cool to be able to turn into a wolf and run through the trees. Except it isn’t so cool not to be able to control one’s one animal instincts, as Lawrence finds out in a great hurry.
Being the enlightened, caring society that they are, the authorities graciously put Lawrence into an asylum instead of a prison, though as far as I can tell, the only difference is that in the asylum, they call the torture part of your cure, so at least you’re not suffering for no reason. And they have a nice sign up for all to see that reads, “Compassion Guide Thy Hand,” so you know they mean well when they’re dunking you in ice water. But in spite of the best kind, caring efforts of the doctor in charge of Lawrence’s case, even modern psychiatry can’t cure an ancient curse, and things manage to go from seeming just about rock-bottom bad for our tormented hero, to even worse.
Along the way we meet a Scotland Yard detective determined to bring his profession in line with all the latest scientific advances — a laudable goal, but also not much use against a creepy monster. The detective is Inspector Abberline (Hugo Weaving, Agent Smith of The Matrix and Elrond of the Lord of the Rings trilogy), who was also a real person — the detective in charge of the investigation into the Ripper murders, also once played by Johnny Depp in From Hell. Talk about a thankless job. And it turns out that investigating werewolves isn’t the way to rejuvenate one’s career, unfortunately.
Now, I know that opinion is hugely divided on this one. Apparently, you love it or hate it. I guess I wouldn’t go quite as far as love myself, but I liked it enough to give it three and three-quarter idols out of five. Obviously if you don’t like old-style horror movie cliches, you’re completely out of luck. The same review I accidentally saw accuses it of being unscary; and it’s true that most of the scary stuff are just things that make you jump in your seat. It isn’t psychological horror, or make-you-not-sleep-at-night horror, but that isn’t what they were trying for. It’s good entertainment — I never once wondered if it was almost over so I could go home already — it’s wonderfully dark and bleak, a very convincing-seeming portrayal of England on the verge of the Industrial Age; and you get to feel for all of the characters. Except, of course, Sir John, because you’re pretty much always supposed to be nervous around Anthony Hopkins’ characters.

Just loaded up some new EastWest software, and I’ve been trying some things in between my other project. Here’s a couple of pieces.
Nu Flute
Consort for Brass
Cheers.

I left this movie fully expecting to spot a mysterious black SUV following me, or possibly just get shot dead when I least expect it, since that was what kept happening on the screen. It was almost two solid hours of nearly jumping out of my seat whenever someone got shot, enough time to relax very slowly and get comfy again, then another huge bang, another dead person, and me left wondering if the next such jolt would make me accidentally fling Milk Duds all over the people in the next row. If you’ve seen the previews, you know just about exactly when the first gunshot will ring out, and it still made me jump.
If you have seen the previews, you’ve also seen a couple of bits and pieces that didn’t make the final cut. I hear they did a pretty serious re-shoot/re-edit on this film to make it more action-oriented, and they succeeded there, all right. It’s based on this popular British mini-series of the same name, and you can tell that this was based on something much longer. A few times, the story leaps ahead and assumes you were paying attention to that quick reference someone made to a shack on the river a few scenes back. Don’t get me wrong; I like movies that don’t spell everything out, but you do need to pay attention to this one.
The basic plot is simple enough, though. Mel Gibson is back on the big screen again, after lying low for years, and this time he’s playing Boston homicide detective Tom Craven. His daughter Emma (Bojana Novakovic) works for a large, important, mysterious research facility called Northmoor. She takes a couple of days off to visit her dad, but it’s far from relaxing, even before she gets gruesomely shot. She’s rather a tiny person, but the guy who shoots her uses a very big gun.
The obvious assumption is that some disgruntled suspect or relative of a suspect was trying to kill Tom, and Emma was simply collateral damage. When Tom finds a very large (and illegal) handgun among his daughter’s things, he starts to think that assumption is too obvious, and the movie hits its stride. Actually, it breaks into a breathless run, to try to fit in most of the plot from the mini-series. But the point is, whenever you have a character who does something mysterious at a mysterious “research facility”, that’s where you should be looking for answers, and Tom looks hard. That’s his skill set, after all, hunting down killers.
Enter Jedburgh (Ray Winstone, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, and also soon to be in Percy Jackson and the Olympians). He’s called Jedburgh after the WWII British Special Operations staff who went into Europe on spying and sabotage missions. Those missions were collectively called Operation Jedburgh — your MCND trivia for the week. In the British mini-series, the character was played by Joe Don Baker, who was the CIA agent who sometimes helped James Bond back when he was Pierce Brosnan. So there, Jedburgh was the only character with a U.S. accent; this time around, Jedburgh is the only one with a British accent. He just never fits in.
Anyway, he’s asked by some Very Important People to check into the problem of Emma Craven and her enraged father, who’s already threatening people; and to clean things up as necessary. I don’t know why anyone bothers to use phrases like “clean things up” or “tie up any loose ends” any more. Everyone knows exactly what they mean, so it isn’t as if they’re being subtle. But Jedburgh starts investigating, and that’s when the body count really starts racking up.

Do you feel lucky, punk? Well, do you?

And poor Tom can’t catch a break. His own partner wants him to lay off, Emma’s boss Jack Bennett (Danny Huston, who played Clive Owen’s cousin Nigel in Children of Men) gives him a polite runaround, and no matter how many times he asks for a glass of ginger ale, no one ever gives him one. But he perserveres, because he’s Mel Gibson, and he does play the grieving, determined father very well. His scenes with Jedburgh are great, and while it’s basically your standard conspiracy cover-up story, it’s all how it’s presented, after all.
Four idols out of five for this one. It kept me interested, it was well-acted, and it was overall a fun ride. Just hang on tightly to that box of Milk Duds.

Agnus Dei X – everyone’s favorite part of the Latin mass. Rich-beyond-reason arrangement.
Second Coming – no percussion – lush orchestra-only mix.
Ranz des Vaches – that one morning tune from the cartoons… from Rossini. Very well produced, if I must say so myself!
Sinfonia Number 5 – quick harpsichord rendering of the Bach 3-part invention.
Also added:
– Half Bit (electronic fun loop)
– Poofy Reel (acoustic quirk)
– New Direction (electronic ambient)
– Space Fighter Loop (hybrid excitement)
– Robo-Western (hybrid uptempo)
And 2 new additions to the Tenebrous Bros. Carnival!
– Tenebrous Brothers Carnival – Mermaid
– Tenebrous Brothers Carnival – Snake Lady

Themes involving the Christian religion? Check. Filmed largely in the brownness of New Mexico? Check. Denzel Washington? Negative. I guess two out of three isn’t bad, but it isn’t good, either. Not that Paul Bettany is a bad actor — far from it. I like him. But there wasn’t much even an angel could do to save this flick.
Let me back up a little. On a long, lonely, dusty highway in the southwestern United States, there’s a place called Paradise Falls. It might be a town, or it might just be the name of the only diner/truck stop along that road for fifty miles in either direction. Bob Hanson (Dennis Quaid, Smart People) owns it, or maybe it owns him. He also has a son named Jeep (Lucas Black), who fixes cars. I’m hoping that he’s actually nicknamed Jeep because he likes to fix cars, and doesn’t like to fix cars because his father legally named him Jeep, so what else could he do?
Anyway, Jeep is madly in love with Charlie (Adrianne Palicki), who’s eight months pregnant by some guy and hates her life. She works as a waitress at the diner, apparently the only waitress, which makes sense, because five customers at once is a huge rush for that place. Charlie wants her and Jeep to be just friends. Meanwhile, Howard, Sandra, and Audrey Anderson (Jon Tenney of “The Closer”, Kate Walsh of “Grey’s Anatomy”, and Willa Holland of “The O.C.”, respectively) are a wealthy family stranded there because their fancy BMW broke down. Kyle Williams (Tyrese Gibson from The Transformers flicks, soon to play Luke Cage in yet another comic-to-silver-screen adaptation) is there because he’s lost. And Percy Walker (Charles S. Dutton, best known to me as Foreman’s dad from “House”) is stuck there because he works there, as the cook.
Then all heaven breaks loose.
God, for some unspecified reason, is angry at humankind. Since the flood thing has already been done, this time the angels come down for a more hands-on approach. Since it’s also sometimes a sharp-teeth-in-skin approach, this is much bloodier than the flood. But one particular angel (Paul Bettany) decides that this whole plan is a Very Bad Idea, and decides he’s going to do his level best to sabotage it. According to some prophecy (or something — the movie is very vague about details like that), Charlie’s baby is the last best hope for humankind; and yes, this is basically a remake of The Terminator, so maybe the angels know things because they’re from the future.

The first sign of the Apocalypse: People standing around gaping.

Much shooting and death ensues. It actually didn’t give me nightmares — all the scariest stuff was in the previews, pretty much, and I was desensitized to that after seeing the previews seventeen times — but it isn’t pleasant. One place where the movie’s actually pretty good, though, is in showing the seige mentality of the few trapped in the diner, and how different people react. Some of it’s a little forced because they had to jam it into just 100 minutes of movie, and they have a lot of people to kill and cars to blow up; but otherwise it’s pretty good.
The rest is… well, a lame remake of Terminator, as mentioned, and it’s really a terrible waste of some good actors. (Though the guy who plays Gabriel (Kevin Durand) is so wooden he seems like he must be chanelling Ben Affleck, but I don’t think that’s usual for him.) Anyway, in spite of the best efforts of Paul Bettany, I give this one two and a quarter idols. The first part was all right, but it went steadily downhill, until the last half hour was just dull and vaguely confusing, though that may have been because I wasn’t paying a whole lot of attention by then. I was busy hoping for The Wolfman to be much better.