Crusade – Heavy Industry

Do you have recurring dreams of being an industrial roomba working in an ore processing facility? Do you make fantasy paintings and need some music for timelapses?
Do you go jog-hopping in low-gravity post-apocalyptic environments? Do you have opinions about eggs? Are you a monster who is in charge of other monsters? Did you work on a top-hat/sombrero assembly line? Are you starting a ferry line on the river Acheron to compete with Charon? Are you drafting epic legislation? Do you enjoy hitting dumpsters with sticks?
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Le Grand Chase

You never notice how effective a car horn is until you use it. I usually park my car near a sidewalk and alarm 7 year olds on their way to and from school. 7 year olds are your target market for this sort of thing. They jump like antelope! All the kids in my neighborhood are acclimatized, now. It isn’t as much fun.
You also never notice how effective a Picardy third is until you do it with car horns. You’re welcome.
You can download the full uncompressed files here!

Flying Kerfuffle

Happy happy, happy happiness. Happier, happiest? Happy. Now that the word has lost all meaning, take a listen to this thing. It is dripping with joy. Ever see a sad person on a jetski? Of course not. It isn’t possible. Similarly, you can’t listen to this and be sad. No Mortal Can! You can be angry at it, you can dislike it, but you can’t be sad because of it. What happens when you employ modern club music techniques on music for folk dances? This.
You can download the full uncompressed files here!

I’m not sure what “trap” music is exactly. I was trying to explain it to a friend and ended up writing this piece. I was listening to Lo-Fi Glitch at the time, which should explain a few things. Behold! Lo-Fi Trap! Dream Catcher! Get it? A Dream Catcher is a lo-fi trap! HAHAHHAHAhahaha! I already upgraded from a Dream Catcher to a Dream Glue Trap.
You can get the dreams off with corn oil. They won’t be happy. Wear thick gloves.
You can download the full uncompressed files here!